Wednesday, August 27, 2008

Monte Ellis' injury and GB's Fav Five; Avoidable injuries

According to ESPN, Monte Ellis will be sidelined 3-4 months following the surgery he had on Wednesday, August 27th after tearing a deltoid ligament in his left ankle. 3-4 months puts him back in action a month or two after the regular season begins. Monte claims he injured himself while working out. I guess I believe him, but, upon hearing this news I instantly began to think of some of the greatest avoidable injuries of all time. Here's my fav five;

5 - Bill Gramatica, Kicker. During Bill's first NFL season as a pro, he was, well, very happy when he make kicks. In fact he was so happy that after successfully kicking a 40 yard field goal in the first half of a meaningless game he erupted into a full blown celebration. What happened next looked like it was straight out of a Milwaukee's Best Beer commercial. No, he wasn't hammered by a 15 foot Beast can (that would have been funny too) but he did manage to tear his ACL causing him to miss the rest of the season. Congrats, Bill, you're an idiot.

4 - Brandon Marshall, Wide Receiver. Brandon has been in the league for 2 years and has had his share of trouble's, DUI included. His latest trouble with the law was domestic battery for which he has been suspended for the first 3 games of the 08-09 season (which will eventually be reduced to 2 games). Note to Brandon, you aren't allowed to punch your girlfriend in the face. But what Brandon did later this summer tops his list of bonehead moments. During a "family" outing Brandon got into a wrestling match with his brother and when push came to shove, Brandon ended up with his arm through a television. Now, he claims this was at 730 in the morning so if that is true, all I can come up with is he was still drunk from the night before. Anyway, he needed a trip to the ER to fix the damage done to his arm. While his rendition of how the whole thing went down seemed to change by the day one thing is constant: the McDonalds bag that he either slipped on or was trying to avoid. Either way, is there any doubt he doesn't get suspended again before the end of this year? You can see video footage here of him explaining what happened.

3 - Gus Frerotte, Quarterback. Gus was the starting quarterback for the Washington Redskins in the late 90's. After running for a touchdown he proceeded to the back of the end zone all the way to the wall that separates the stands with the field. He then decided to Jackie Chan head-butt the wall, you know, like anyone would do after something good happens. Either he was way too jacked up and hit his head extra hard against the wall or that wall wasn't as soft as it looked, because following the head-butt Gus was forced to sit the rest of the game with neck pain.

Damn, on second thought, he looks like someone who would do this...

2 - Ken Griffey Jr, Outfielder. As an Oregon native I grew up watching Griffey as Seattle was the baseball team that seemed close enough to have an interest in. Ken was great in Seattle but could never win the big games, sadly. Yes, Ken has missed tons of games in his career for tons of different injuries. However, none are as funny (and not funny at the same time) as this. There really isn't any intro into this one, so, here it comes. Ken once pinched a testicle with his cup and was forced to miss a game. You can't make this stuff up.

Ken, just one question; how many times a day do you wish THAT never happened?

That would be my answer, too...

1 - Jay Williams, Point Guard. This was a sad day for me as I was a Williams fan during his days at Duke. Not even a full year after Jay was selected 2nd in the NBA draft behind Yao Ming, Jay's career was over. He crashed his motorcycle into a pole in the suburbs of Chicago, Illinois which jacked up much of his body including his pelvis, ACL, ego, and of course that main nerve he severed in his leg. He tried to resume his career after the injury but never made it with an NBA team. The sky was the limit coming out of Duke and his entire world crashed down on him. Because of the severity, this takes the cake. In an attempt to be like Jay, football stars Ben Roethlisberger and Kellen Winslow have also tried the end their careers also by riding motorcycles. Ben's unsuccessful attempt even went as far as to ride without a helmet. Note to Greg Oden - do not buy a motorcycle.


KneeJerkNBA said...

Good call on Frerotte. And that Griffey story is hilarious.

To your thoughtful list, I'd also add Tony Allen blowing out his knee on a dead ball dunk two years ago.

Walton's Wisdom said...


I'm going to go ahead and add a couple of honorable mentions.

1. Brad Miller missing a few games after cutting his hand while doing the dishes. Obvious question: "Why is an NBA player handwashing dishes?"

2. Sammy Sosa's sneeze attack that caused him to strain a muscle in his back. He missed games because of this, and Joe Morgan's commentary on the injury made it even funnier.